A Blog About Nothing.

Today was our last class. I have mixed feelings about today. In terms of the blogs, I'm just annoyed. I'm annoyed by the fact that people have apparently been using my blog as a resource. I'm annoyed by the fact that if someone searches blog search for the name 'Mark Lipton,' my blog is one at the top of the page. I'm annoyed that I've been made fun of countless times because I have so many blog posts. Honestly, the quantity of the posts isn't what matters, and I frankly don't care about the total number. I did what I thought would have been natural, and that just so happened to be over the expected amount.

When we had the final exam today, I was a bit skeptical. As much as I want a grade in this class that reflects the amount of effort, initiative and planning that I put into it, I feel that I still could have done better. I mean there's always room for improvement. I feel that I deserve a final grade of 82%. This is how I'm working it out:
Media Autobiography: 6.5/10
Semiotic Essay: 21/30
Blog: 44/50 (This isn't because of the number of posts, that is completely coincidental haha)
Last Word: 9/10

Yes, this adds up to 80.5%, but for what I've had to go through according to group projects the like, I think I deserve an 82% when all aspects are put into account. But obviously professors can't always be aware of all the circumstances, so one will almost never get the mark that they think they deserve.

I'm sort of sad that since Mark Lipton is known to be a hard marker, I will not achieve this grade. Class average of 35% last year? Are you joking? If I got lower than 35% I would probably cry. On anything I've put effort into (And I'm an all-or-nothing kinda gal, usually ALL) I've never received lower than 80%. Man, if I don't do well..

I really try not to compare myself to other people, this is rooted with the fact that I have a sibling who I used to always compare to myself. Since she had more of a slender body type, I always thought my parents liked her better. I mean of course they didn't care about that stuff, but you know, I was young, I didn't know any better. Anyways, it just kills me to see that people are always going to be given second chances. It feels like people aren't getting weeded out early, and all I can think is, am I still going to have to deal with these people for another three and a half years? I can't believe how...how lenient and push-over-like the world can be.

Well I guess this is it. This is farewell to the worst and best semester of my life. After having to endure this class I have learned a lot about myself. I am definitely a very sensitive person, and I've always known this, but it's more than I thought. I'm kind of a woos (I'm assuming that's how you spell it, spell check doesn't object). I take things a little too personal and yes, sometimes criticism or rudeness may be directed at me, but I guess I need to learn to get over it. And that's what I think I learned to do this class. Whenever I thought that Mark was cutting me off or being rude, I was SO mad. Why is he doing this to me? Is he just trying to test me? And I don't mean in a malicious way, I mean in a way that would make me realize how I react, and how I may need to change. Well, he did it.

From the day that I walked out of the class, (and returned) I've had this theory. I am almost certain that I'm wrong, but I might as well express it. I think that everything in this class including the professor, the course, the way in which the course was taught, and even the group tasks are just a HUGE, sort of stressful test of our critical analysis and integrity. And I don't mean surface critical analysis, I mean like..thinking so hard that it drives you crazy. Because that's basically what has happened to me. I'm so used to already over-analyzing everything, that this course has literally blown my mind. I now have so many more thoughts that just crowd and hurt my brain. I've found that lately I always have this feeling in my throat that I am about to vomit...maybe it's symbolism for the overflow of thoughts in my brain. What's scary to think is that I'm probably not even analyzing as much as I could. Just think if I was critically analyzing to the fullest! I'd probably be dead.

I think if students are intimidated my Mark Lipton, they don't get his point. And I'm not sure if this claim is way off, but maybe, on the contrary, I've pinpointed the point of the class. I think from critically analyzing everything about the course, I've discovered the mystery of mass communication. Or maybe I'm just like Seinfeld, the show about nothing, except it's Cara's Blog About Nothing.